www.it-he.org
Wily solutions and hints for System Shock and the Ultima Games, Add-ons for DOOM, and of course Software Projects.
Latest Updates:
22-Mar-2024 - The Ultimate Dragonslayer switches sides in Skyrim: The Reluctant Dragonborn (Volumes 1 and 2)
10-Jul-2020 - Skyrim - Uncivil War Skyrim: Uncivil War
09-Jul-2017 - 15 years late, it's Return to Castle Wolfenstein
06-Mar-2017 - Wolfenstein: NO
14-Jan-2017 - Long overdue upgrade to ditch the frames. Thanks, Sofox!
07-Aug-2016 - After many delays... Fallout 3 - Capital Punishment.
25-Dec-2014 - Skyrim.
18-Oct-2013 - Fallout 3 - New Vegas.
05-May-2013 - Major rev of Starless (Serpent Isle). I will try and finish the Skyrim thing this year too...
24-Nov-2011 - Deus Ex - Human Revolution Number Nine - A teardown of Deus Ex III
07-Aug-2011 - Oblivion - The Knights Who Say 'Nine' - collecting relics for fun and prophet
13-Jun-2011 - Return to Oblivion, covering the Daedric quests and Shivering Isles
Advisory
The game-related pages on this site use language roughly equivalent to your average episode of South Park.
If you are offended by such words, please avoid those pages.
Health Warning
Do not attempt to drink Dr. Pepper or similar beverages while reading this site.
Use the icons in the left-hand frame to navigate, or look at the contents below.
Information about the site is at the end of the page.
Disclaimer and site information
Misbehaving in Ultima 6-9 and Lazarus.
Doom add-ons (Some seriously original things here)
Games and things by IT-HE Software
Misbehaving in the Ultima Games
Ultima 5 - Lazarus
Six-score-and-ten oblations to a malefic Avatar
The fantastic remake of Ultima 5 in Dungeon Siege, as you haven't seen it before.
"Now go back into the sea from whence ye came, and wade your way west until
you come to Blackthorn's Island. Beam yourself onto the island, and using
two glass swords, kill both demons. You will have two more wonderful
spellbooks."
Ultima 6
Things your mother never told you about Ultima 6
How to kill Lord British, visit the Land of the Dead, create very strange objects and much more.
Also features, Ultima 6 World Editor, Several Add-on worlds, and a character creation patch..
Ultima 7, Parts 1 and 2
A Fistful of Ultima 7
"The key to this game is not through following the Eight Virtues.
The way to succeed in Ultima 7 is serial kleptomania!"
Now featuring Fear And Loathing in Forge-Of-Virtue, a 'walkthrough' for the twisted Avatars out there.
And: Further Drug Experiments
"Hard drugs are actually a good thing, because they tend to kill off anyone stupid enough to use them."
Serpent's Isle: cosmic balancing act
"D!ckhead ran around the town of Monitor, killing cats with what I believe he described as a ****-off big hammer"
Now featuring: Starless and Bible Black, Serpent's Isle finally yields and a new Anti-Walkthrough is born!
Ultima 8 - Pagan
How to be a complete b*stard in PaganA walkthrough for Pagan, with an attitude problem.
"Get yourself juiced up on the magic mushrooms as often as you can and kill some of the blue theurgists. Get them when they start to turn red as they look just like Santa Claus."
Things to do with the cheat mode
"You're all-powerful, so don't bother to go through the door, just make one yourself."
How to kill Beren without cheating
"Beren must be fed to the Lurker. The only question is how."
And I said it couldn't be done. Hey Beren, fancy a swim?
"No free man should be hanged twice for the same offence"
Beren can be your friend if you let him
"But what Beren doesn't know is that the Avatar has been deallocated by the heap manager..
Beren now administers Justice to segment address 0000:0000...
...bringing the game to it's inevitable conclusion."
Ultima 9 - Ascension
Whacked Out Ultima 9A collection of criminally insane screenshots.
"Greetings, tree."
Probably THE most abnormal way of completing Ultima Ascension
"Save, and restart.. QUICKLY! The game is not well!"
Linux and Ultima 9 meet. Linux spikes Ultima 9's coffee with acid.
"Muh.."
'nuff said!
Stuff you can do if you get bored
"Okay, hide the body somewhere. Find another volunteer and try again."
System Shock - a complete (mental) breakdown
System Shock - the hacker's guide to sin
"What the hacker lacks in toes and legs, he makes up for in his arms.
In fact, the hacker has these wonderful gibbon arms that are thirteen foot long."
Deus Ex
Deus Ex - Sunglasses at nightAnother brilliant game from Warren Spector is twisted into uncomfortable positions
"Head back to Tamagochi Road and look for the maid, who is still sleeping happily on the tarmac after her passage through the window."
This revised version (3/1/2003) has a few corrections and additions, plus the new 'Saint Paul' section..
Screenshots to make your mind water
Deus Ex with a headache. Levitations, Rocket Fishing and stuff that can't really be described.
Deus Ex gone horribly, horribly wrong
"Legs are fairly easy; if the doberman won't eat them you can always jump down too far and break them. Arms should be eaten."
Arx Fatalis
Ars Fatalix - The Quick and Easy Path of the Dark SideArx Fatalis gets the treatment.
"..go into the prison cell, where we weren't told the King was being held, if he was still alive, which he isn't anyway."
Fun stuff that wouldn't fit in the walkthrough.
Thief
Thief - Drugs, drugs and violenceAt last, Thief.
"Garrett is now lying on his side and full of 'H'. Unlike the Quake marine, who just lies there drooling with a vacant expression on his face, Garrett can still scoot around on his side, and even steal gold."
Thief 2
Thief 2 - The MeNtal AgeLike Thief 1, but bigger, better and with more pottery.
"If you throw a flash bomb inside the girl's chamber, it will detonate blinding both her and Basso. This is amusing to you, but the game doesn't like it one bit and starts to panic. Basso and Jenivere will now both be doing Zombie impressions, and everything starts to come apart."
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
RTCWWhat could be more pleasing than running around the lush countryside of Nazi Germany committing random acts of terrorism?
"In stark contrast to Quake, where the end boss is a sea anemone that sits there waving its fronds oblivious to your presence, BJB has to fight the forces of darkness incarnate in a final confrontation in a steelyard somewhere near Grimsby."
Wolfenstein - The New Order
Wolfenstein NOA brain-damaged psychopath in his mid-40s goes on a killing spree in an alternate 1960
"BJB commits a few more murders, kidnaps Anja, the only survivor of the Mental Hospital Massacre, and then escapes in a car. Incredibly, nobody stops an obviously-stolen high-ranking vehicle being driven too fast by a mental patient in a blood-spattered hospital gown who's never driven a vehicle with a synchronized gearbox before."
Fallout 3
Fallout 3 - Capital PunishmentIn which we go around cutting people's fingers off and looking for 200-year-old ready-meals.
"I am stuck in this f***ing hole in the ground, ten years old and apparently being forced to relive sucky parts of my childhood. Please send help."
Fallout 3 - New Vegas
Fallout 3 - New VegasFear and loathing in New Vegas
"The Omertas! THEY robbed my dog!"
Morrowind
Morrowind - The Adventures of Cat-Dude"The main difficulty is getting [Qa'Dar] out of his cage. Far and away the most reliable method I have found is mass-murder."
Oblivion
Oblivion - The Cat Came Back"During the day, it's a crap-shoot... about half the time they will rightfully scream blue murder. The rest of the time - Chestnut Stables in particular - the entire team of stable-hands will stand around and watch lazily as each [horse] is systematically bereft of its mind, body and soul."
Skyrim
Skyrim - A Game of Dragons"However, there is a way to fix the problem. Both problems, in fact. As with most things in this game, it involves beheading people."
"Jarl Bogroll will send you to Ulfric with an axe, and no further instructions. This may have been a mistake, since someone dressed in Dark Brotherhood armour who's wanted for mass-murdering Thalmor is liable to draw the wrong conclusions about what is expected of him."
Skyrim - The Reluctant Dragonborn (Vol 1)
"If you keep biting him to ensure he remains helpless, it is entirely possible to roll the World-Eater down the mountain while the refugee dragon looks on in dismay."
Skyrim - The Reluctant Dragonborn (Vol 2)
"I'm a dragon, I don't have time for this shit."
Doom Add-ons
The Blessed Engine - "a patch for Doom that is so twisted, you'll never be able to look at an Imp again."The Sky May Be - Probably the strangest Doom level in existence. New graphics and special effects -probably- not seen before.
Kansam's Trial - A new episode for Doom by a real perfectionist.
VSB Doom - an engine patch based on Voyage of the Space Beagle by AE Van Vogt.
DuckShoot for BOOM - a popular fairground attraction, for the BOOM engine
Binary Doom - attempts at binary logic gates implemented in Doom with Dehacked
PCI Soundcards for Ultima 7 and other great DOS programs
PCI SoundcardsLooking for a soundcard to run those good old games? Check this out.
Games and things by IT-HE Software
Work In Progress
IRE - a Role Playing Game engine
A hicolor game engine for DOS, Windows, Linux and BeOS.
Designed to be as flexible and expandable as possible.
Finished Work
Javelin 2.32 - The Director's Cut
A very fast 256-colour platform game with digital music and sound.
For DOS (runs in Windows 9x)
The Strange Utilities collection
A collection of odd utilities for various uses.
For DOS and Windows 3.1 (and Windows 9x)
Historical graphics library used in most IT-HE programs.
For DOS (runs in Windows 95)
Historical sound library. A technological cul-de-sac, for interest only.
For DOS (RUNS BADLY in Windows 95)
Like the win95 loading screen, but for DOS
For DOS (RUNS BADLY in Windows 95)
Dead Projects
ITHEos - The IT-HE Operating System
Misguided attempt at making a flexible OS.
Source code only.
The world's best all-in-one Doom editing suite.
Nothing to see. The WAD editor is in the "Strange Utilities" pack.
Kludgy and very slow action game.
For DOS. Some versions run inside Win95, some don't.
Links
The Links PageMostly music, and mostly prog rock.
Homepage rituals:
This lot is copyright (C) 1996-2020 Joseph Paul MorrisThanks to Sofox for helping bringing the site into the 21st century...
More personal pages (Ultima, Doom, System Shock) may contain strong language.. you have been warned.
This page could probably be 15-rated or maybe even PG. Extremely sensitive people might be offended.
These pages are in a state of perpetual imbalance.
Administrative stuff
This page is maintained by Joseph Morris of IT-HE Software.Send comments or complaints to one of the following:
jpm@it-he.org Preferred address
Sometimes known on Usenet as: DOUG the Eagle (Dragon), -=UDIC=- member
Ultima and System Shock are trademarks of Origin Systems Inc.
Doom and the Doom logo are trademarks of Id software.
Any other trademarks mentioned here are the property of their respective owners.