Drugs, Drugs and Violence.. a short page about THIEF
Drugs, drugs and violence : a short page about

Subsections: Thief 2!

Yes.. the Thief II anti-walkthrough is now available!
Featuring the latest advances in pottery..


You broke into my house, stole my property,
murdered my servants and my pets!

--Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian


Thief is a fun game of steampunk, stealing people's stuff and thwarting the Elder Gods. It probably inspired the setting of China Mieville's novel, 'Perdido Street Station'. If you're reading this, you probably know what it is anyway. If not.. stop! Come back and read this after you've played the game properly.

The 'walkthrough'

The walkthrough was done using Thief 1.14, from the Sold Out edition.

Unless otherwise stated all missions are in 'Normal' mode. This is largely to bypass the 'Thou Shalt Not Murder' commandment found in higher difficulty levels.

Lord Bafford's Manor

Enter by knocking out the drunken guard at the well and smashing the door down with your sword. I've heard of these little shiny things called 'keys' but I don't know what they do.

Knock out one of the guards, and if you are so inclined, drop his body into the river from which you emerged. Check back later and he will have magically transformed into a corpse.

   For fun, you might consider knocking out one of the peasants on
   the first floor and throwing their body down the stairs.
   This will result in a low moan and the aforementioned transformation.
   I wouldn't save afterwards, though, unless you're playing the
   'Sutek The Destroyer' way.
The next step should be to eliminate all resistance. Go through each floor killing all the swordsmen. This is made easier by utilising the pool. You see, when you're in the water, no-one can see you. You can, therefore, smite the guards with your sword and jump back into the water before they can retalliate. If you emerge the opposite side of the pool, it will help tremendously.

The pool also has that tremendous ability to conceal OTHER things, like corpses.
Not that you should be putting ALL your victims in the pool, since leaving one or two of them in plain sight on the patrol routes is a surefire way to drive the survivors into a frenzy, which makes for a good deal of excitement.

And of course, you don't have to be dead to be allowed into the pool.
Other things, such as vases, plates, bottles of drink and anything else which you can't stuff into your sack and sell later can also go into the pool.
Man, I'd love to be watching when Lord Bafford comes home.

"Maybe you could just... throw me into the pool.. or something.."

On the top floor are a number of tougher guards, dressed in golden armour. One of these is presumably prowling around, waiting for you to show up after all the ruckus and murder down below.

You can use a variation on the pool technique by duking it out in Lord Bafford's bath, which can provide a lot of fun. Especially as you can only start to attack by jumping first (Garrett won't fight in water!).

Finally, you can leave the corpse in the bath as another fun surprise for Lord B.

When you're done, loot the place bare.

The most important room is of course, the throne room, which contains the sceptre, but you don't actually want to go in there until everything else that isn't nailed down has been crammed into your happy-bag.

There are a few different ways to approach the throne room.
The first, is Deus-Ex style. Knock on the door and ask to be let in using your sword. When the guard opens it, deal with him and slip through.

Alternatively, you can open the door more quietly by some other means.
Once inside, alert the guards to your presence using the gongs provided for that purpose.
Then, as the guards move to slay you, pick up the Sceptre and vanish with a swirl of your cloak.

IDM: Shouldn't you be hiding those dead guards?
JPM: I don't know.  What does "hiding" mean?
IDM: It's when you take their hides as a trophy.

The Mines of Moria

In the mines, try to find the power module, which features elyctrically-charged particle clumps moving between the two prongs.

Unfortunately you can't elyctrocute yourself (or the Zombies).

Sulk voice: I guess I'll have to save the world then.

But before we can save the world we have to endanger it, and before we can do that we have to make a name for ourselves. And before we can do that we have to get revenge on Cutty and steal the data on his latest project.

Try not to kill Hammerites where it can be avoided, since they are, after all, only fascist loonies. Knock them out instead. There will come times when avoidance is impossible, and, like a mad dog, the hammerite will have to slain as humanely as possible. Besides, we'll need their help later.

If you aren't constrained by anything as human as morality, you can go totally berserk and wipe out the entire prison complex, which I did the first time around, before I knew better.
If this interests you, a useful approach is to use the freight elevator. Unfortunately you can't actually squash the Hammerites beneath it as was done in System Shock 2 with the protocol 'droids, but you can lure them up to the lift, and then stand on it, rendering yourself invisible.
You can then lash out at the Hammerites and throw the bodies down the lift-shaft into a heap before going to find some more.

"Look.. a body!"

The machine-room. Once the Hammerites are removed, you can play with the machinery, and even make some hammers. Unfortunately you can't wield the hammers like the Hammerites do (that would be too easy!).
You can, however, crash the Hammerite machinery. Make a hammer, and then make another one without removing the first one.

The sensors are jammed and the vat keeps on pouring the gurgling molten steel forever. Do this for all three of them.

Kill or otherwise incapacitate the High Priest. Leave the altar boy alone, he can't harm you. Instead let him follow you around, yelling threats and obscenities at you. If he becomes a nuisance, club him.

"Receive thy pounding!"
"Shut up."

Take out prison wings 1-3 first. Free all the prisoners, who stumble and babble. Be patient when they get in your way, and remember that you used to be a prisoner too, once, before you left the asylum.

Now go directly to Felix' map which is in the guardroom. Once this be done, go to wing 4 and turn everyone else loose.

Cutty will stay put, but try to make sure the heretic opposite (the loony with the fireballs) doesn't try to murder him.

Go into the cell and shut the door behind you. The hammerites will try to slay you but they can't open the cage. They will however, still try to pummel you through the jail door, with some success.

Cutty will explain about the map and then promptly die 'neath righteous punishment(*). As he slumps to the ground, the hammerites will see it and shout 'Look.. a body! Murder!' or some such nonsense.

And suddenly, with the situation at its most bleak, with Garrett imprisoned and the only way out blocked by a horde of murderous hammerites determined to smash his skull, Garrett wishes himself out of the jail cell and escapes.
As if by magic.

"I see the fear in thine eyes!!"
"Oh, piss off!"

*And for those of you who live in Neath.. I'm very sorry to hear that.

The Quin of Horntus

The horn quest is nondescript and quite boring.
There are a few interesting items, such as the magic face that yells at you, but the only real fun to be had is at the end, when you grab the horn.

Try to time it so that you can leap off the tower and the mission ends before your body splatters everywhere.



After the horn comes Ramirez. Make sure you buy some health potions though, as there don't seem to be any in the map.

   If anyone has been able to jump in front of Farkus and take
   the bullet for him, I'd really like to hear from you!
You don't really need my help to make this one a fun mission.
Trash the place.
Take all the money and the loot.
Kill all the guards.
Kill Ramirez and take his place.
Kill everything.

If you have time, go outside after the place is entirely yours and the guards are all dead.

Outside there are various street patrols and so on, who are only too happy to fight.
You can spend hours, even days, getting lost in the gigantic city map and annihilating all resistance.

The Sword That Was To Place Him On The Throne

Kill one of the guards and enter through the back room.
Do this by using a rope arrow on the timber beams supporting the roof, and haul yourself up to the balcony. Bring the dead guard with you.

As you emerge from the guardroom, you should see a hole in the corridor.
Throw the body down the hole and jump up and down so the guards hear you.


Stay near the hole, and eventually a guard will see the body.
Try and work your way down to the lower level, and kill another guard.
Leave a trail of bodies for the others to find, and try to be within hearing range when they do. We want to have a really high number of 'Bodies found' on the stats page!

Wander around, nicking things and looking for the Sword.
Our careful hiding of the dead guards in plain sight will have driven the survivors into a frenzy of hatred, which makes them do unpredictable things.
If you're really good, you should be able to get at least some of the guards killed off by the house's own internal defence systems.

The upper levels of the house are really, really cool, involving optical illusions, rooms upside-down and sideways, Escherisms and rooms that hang in space.
It's a shame the Thief engine doesn't seem to support portal mechanics or they could have done some serious pan-dimensional work, with two rooms occupying the same space, or rooms that are bigger on the inside.

MC Escher is in da house

The Cathedral, Part 1

Go directly to the Keeper's sanctum. Do not pass go, do not go near the Cathedral. When you've done this, you'll still need to gather up some loot.

Tom Braider

At the drug shop, score some Speed. This is very, very, VERY important.
Spend the rest of your cash on water arrows, since there are a lot of fireballs floating around.

Go to the edge of the lost city. This is quite easy. You may find a few spiders. If you shoot a gas arrow between them, they all roll onto their backs and wave their legs in the air in perfect sync.

Go to the clifftop where you get to see the Talisman of fire, and Garrett says "So this is the Lost City? It ain't lost no more..".

Normally this is either a tantalising glimpse of the city, or a novel way to commit suicide by jumping off the cliff. By the judicious use of drugs, however, we can turn it into something else.. a major hoodwink.

Fire a rope arrow at the wooden joist on the above-left of the window containing the Talisman. You'll probably have to centre the joist on the lower third of your bow-sight, since it's quite a distance away.

Speed is of the essence

Now, move back a bit and get high on the Speed. Take a running jump and leap out onto the rope. If you're a really kick-ass thief, you can climb up that rope and do a diagonal jump into the window.

If not, go around to another side and get in using another rope arrow. (You should be able to retrieve at least one of the rope arrows by leaning out of the appropriate window).

Hell, yeah! We've been in the Lost City for like, 30 seconds, and we've already got one of the talismans!

Of course, there is a price to be paid for mugging the game in said manner.. the drawbridge you are supposed to use to get back hasn't been opened so you can't get back that way.
However, I managed to screw that bit when I was playing the game the first time, anyway, so I know what to do.

Make sure you've grabbed all the loot from the fire-tower, this should include a health potion.

Find this:

..and do a running jump. Since you don't have any more Speed, you will end up in the lava. Jump quickly and mantle up to the ledge (in reality the radiated heat from the lava should have boiled you before you even jumped).

Take one of the health potions later and you'll be fine.

Now, make your way to a room nearby which contains two fireballs, and is plated with little blue gems in the walls. Slay the two fireballs and put the gems into your swag bag. Then go back out, and find the way to the water talisman. This is actually the cave to the left of the gem room (on the way in).

Since the fireballs do technically have a 'front' and 'back',
it is possible to creep up behind them and blackjack them.
Sadly this doesn't actually knock them out, but you do get an
angry hissing sound, and if you hit them enough they'll burst.

This will take you to the Talisman of Water

Climb up the little wall and go up and around, dropping neatly down the hole. Then you'll come to the rows of houses partly submerged in lava.
Leap from roof to roof. Then it's just a matter of going down into the tomb (remember, the penitent man may pass..) and retrieving the water talisman. Looking good!

On exiting the tomb, however, it starts to look less good, as you are confronted by things that look and walk very much like Ming's Annihilatons from 'Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe'.

"My Annihilatons Are Walking Bombs"

Run past them and jump back across the rooftops. Now all you have to do is find your way out again.

It's HammerTime

Ohhh... so many different ways to play this one. The first minute alone has so many possibilities.

Little pig, little pig, let me in!

Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!

Firstly, the sentry at the front door. An amusing approach is to walk past him, and when he asks for your credentials, use the Han Solo approach of hitting him on the back of the head with your blackjack.

You can drive the Hammerites into a killing rage before you've even set foot within the temple, by shoving the unconscious body through the bars of the portcullis so the guards can see it. The problem now is that you're on the wrong side of the portcullis, right? Wrong.

Take out the scroll and read the Litany. Someone somewhere, will shout 'Open the gates!' for no obvious reason and you can enter.
This even works if the Hammerites are raging for your blood, and it also works if you dump the fallen Hammerite far, far away and then read the scroll outside the gate. It's like a kind of door-opening spell. Be aware that it only works once, though.

"And Lo, with the sceptre of righteousness, has justice been forged"

Note that even if you go for the softly-softly approach of trying to remain as a good novice, you can still 'disappear' the sentry and no-one will ever notice.

In fact, the only sure-fire way to banjax the mission is to kill the sentry (I tried shooting him with arrows from a distance). Of course, if you manage to lock yourself outside again, you're utterly screwed.

Legend of the Evil Novice

So, when do you leave the Straight and Narrow? That is the big question. A fun place to start is to wander into the Church and take the golden hammer from the altar, in full view. This always gets them excited, usually with the words "Where did that go...?", before they turn and run for the panic button.

In Umberto Eco's novel, 'The Name of the Rose', it is widely recognised that novices are pretty unruly, always sneaking into the kitchen at midnight to steal cheese (An enterprise which Adso excelled in at Melk), trading romantic works and porn, and so on. The monks tended to expect a certain amount of this behaviour, novices being young, although it was certainly not encouraged.

So, I tried the traditional boyhood prank of hitting the doorbell and running away..

..but apparently this now carries the death penalty.

The killing of the High Priest

The High Priest lives in the ornate rooms in the centre of the lower floor. There is, for some reason, a small window-slit into his room, through which you can see him, but he can't see you. Weird, eh?

Shoot an arrow or two through this slit and the High Priest will go to meet the Builder in person. If playing in 'passive resistance' mode, a gas arrow is great for this.

You can then take his body and dump it somewhere. Placing it on the patrol routes is a fine way to 'leave the straight and narrow', as I put it. Alternatively, if you place him behind the dressing screen, no-one will know that he's dead (unless he screamed too loudly) and you'll still be a good little Novice.

If you want to remain undetected, water arrows are great for tidying up any blood he may have lost while trying to escape.

Brother Inquisitor lives in the cellar. He's asleep. If you go anywhere near him, he'll wake up and do his best to make your life (and death) a misery. Of course, if you have a spare gas arrow, you can make his life a misery too.

In part of an insane experiment to build a bridge to the Talismans while playing in expert mode, I stashed a lot of crates down in the Talisman room.
I threw them around for a bit before finding out how easily they break.
Then I decided to annoy Brother Inquisitor. Taking four crates I sneaked as close as I could, and then proceeded to smash them all open by throwing them around with extreme violence.
The Inquisitor was duly annoyed, yelling "what is going on out there!?!" and coming to investigate. He then recieved a gas arrow in the belly, and was lain outside his room to annoy the patrol (who was duly annoyed too).

After that experiment, I took one of the crates down into the crypts and attempted to annoy the watchmen there. Interestingly, only Brother Inquisitor objects to such acts of vandalism.. probably because he was trying to sleep at the time.

Judging from the patrol's lack of reaction, stealing empty crates from the storeroom and smashing them violently against the walls is evidently what Hammerite novices are expected to do instead of trading porn or stealing cheese.

   It is interesting to note that when hit with a cudgel the Hammerites
   will sometimes say "Receive thy E!", suggesting that Ecstasy usage
   is endemic among Hammerite Novices.

The High Priest goes for a walk

Still another way to leave the path of righteousness is to take the body of the High Priest and bring him up to the library (without being seen!). From there you can find a balcony which looks out over the graveyard. A jump to the following wall, and you can then throw the High Priest down in front of a pair of Hammerites, interrupting their conversation the Quentin Tarantino way (or is that the Thulsa Doom way?).

Just think of a wonderful thought..
"Come to me, my child."

The Mad Hatter's Teaparty

Return to Babel

This is pretty straightforward, just go and get the Eye. Then try to get out. This is less straightforward.

Look for Brother Muriel, who I first thought was part of the cathedral automation (like the Test-masters in Eye of the Beholder II). Do what he wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

It's an interesting aside that despite their faults, the Hammers are fantastic engineers. The cathedral has been abandoned for half a century but the energy systems are still functioning perfectly and it requires only a reset of the fusebox to bring the entire cathedral back to working order.

A fun thing to get hold of is the Book of Common Prayer. When you use this, Garrett will recite the Prayer for the Dead. Do this when you enter combat with the undead, and Garrett will keep on praying - an amusing contrast to the violence and carnage.

It is also worth noting that like a bird, Garrett has two sets of vocal tracts and can both scream and pray at the same time. Even more interesting, he keeps on praying after he dies.

Once you've lain Brother Mureus in clay, and optionally the other dead dudes, you'll get the Bomb.

A Terrible Experience with Extremely Dangerous Drugs

There is a fantastic trick to be done with the bomb. Aside from the obvious ploy of using it to blow up the zombies (thus dooming yourself to stay forever), you can also do some extremely interesting things at the gate.

Set up us the bomb as per usual, only stand right next to it. Detonate the bomb and you'll become dead-alive.

"Hey.. bomb..?"

Giving Heroin to the Quake Marine... A Flashing of Knives and Green Water

This is truly fascinating.. Garrett is now higher than the Pope.
A similar effect can be had in Quake by using the cheat code "give H" (remembering that 'H' is slang for heroin).
This makes the quake marine fall on his side and pretend to be dead until he is 'given more H', e.g. "give Heroin 100".

Do try this at home, children!      The marine isn't actually dead.

Thief has this problem too, only you don't have to dish out the smack for it to happen; you only have to kill Garrett in just the right way.. and the bomb will do this every time.

So, Garrett is now lying on his side and full of 'H'. Unlike the Quake marine, who just lies there drooling with a vacant expression on his face, occasionally able to bounce up and down on the spot or fire his gun, Garrett can still scoot around on his side, and even steal gold!.

Garrett is also dying and the game will end if you leave it too long. Fortunately he has technically won the mission, so if you make him slither out through the gate as soon as he's dead, you'll hear the Eye talk to you and the mission should end successfully before the blackness claims him completely.

Another pyrrhic victory

Anyway. Once you give the Eye to Constantine your troubles really begin.



The less said about this the better.


Strange Dedfellows

Garrett, formerly with three eyes, now has only one.
Remarkably he is not dead from shock or bleeding, and has somehow managed to elude the cool monkeypeople despite the fact that he has a seriously impaired field of vision, (and can be easily snuck up upon on his right-hand side) and no depth-perception.

Now it's time to go back to the Hammerites, cap in hand and apologise for all that stuff you stole and all those High Priests you murdered.
Perhaps the loss of your eye and the fact that you're now a certified Novice will help a little.

The hammer temple is littered with corpses, upturned furniture, broken walls and shattered glass. In other words, nothing has changed since my last (and extremely violent) visit.

The temple is just how I left it

Just bumble around looking for the Hammerites, and then looking for the High Priest. I don't know why it's so important that they have the High Priest back, since they found a replacement very quickly after I killed his predecessor.

If you manage to find the raft-thing, DO NOT throw the lever unless you have the High Priest.
I made that mistake, and then when I dragged the high priest to the dock, the raft was gone. (I foolishly tried to swim back and thereby drowned the High Priest).

For extra fun, try to complete the mission without killing any of the monkeypeople.

In The Mouth of Madness

In the final reel, we descend into the netherworld, to swap the Woodsie's Eye with an eye made from bang-stick.
This fairly straightforward, barring some of the fascinating architectural misfits (such as the Megatree from Jet-Set-Willy, the water loop and the particle bridges).
Essentially, there is only one way to go, and that's usually down.

My 'Rune' trick is quite appropriate.. just bumble around, and as long as you don't actually die, you'll find your way in by error and trial.

In the final chamber, we come across the Woodsie, who is activating a septagram, point by point. Each point requires a seriously cool incantation, so stay hidden and listen to each one.

   For kicks, climb up onto the cliff which you're SUPPOSED to use.
   Just as the Woodsie is coming, hurl yourself off the cliff with
   minimal health so that your brains splatter all over his feet.

   "Garrett!! Lives you still?"  Not anymore.

   It's also fun to note, that like Garrett, the Woodsie also has
   the ability to say several things at once, and will quite happily
   shout at you whilst simultaneously carrying on with the incantation.

   Finally, if you have a fire arrow and 3-4 shields of health, you can
   fire it point-blank at the nearest wall and Garrett will give two or
   three simultaneous death-screams.
When all seven points are activated, the Woodsie will activate the Eye. As soon as he does this, rush out into the centre of the room, and swap the (now activated) Eye for the fake one.

The Woodsie will of course, say "Garrett! My thiefsie fool.. lives you still?" before he himself stops living.
He'll probably manage to curse you before (or sometimes after) he dies, but by quaffing health potions regularly you should be able to keep Garrett alive until the ritual is over and the mission is won.

Then the Hammerites reanimate Garrett's broken corpse, and fit him with a mechanical eye.
This is cool, and it means that Garrett has depth perception again, but he's not going to be much of a thief with the motors in the eye clicking and whirring all the time he's trying to stay hidden.
But it has to be said that it's a better solution than the one used by the Mayor of Perdido Street Station, aka 'The Eye-Spy Killer'.

For Polychromic, one of many who requested it

Made with Microsoft Edit and Midnight Commander!

Back to the front page